SMS, LIES AND THE INTERNET

There was this one time when my wife and I were watching the Discovery show, “Crime Night” and it featured the story of a man who killed his wife after she discovered that he was having multiple extramarital affairs. How did the wife find out? She read his emails.

Grabbing the opportunity, I turned to my wife and joked, “So you see what happens when you mess with my emails?” I got a scowl in return.

Stories of wives or girlfriends finding out that they are not the only objects of affection by reading their partner’s emails and text messages are now commonplace. When we see someone with more than one cellphone, we wink and say, “One’s for official business, the other’s for monkey business.”

But the truth of the matter is, the internet and the mobile phone, two of the greatest inventions in modern times, has also made infidelity much more convenient for straying individuals. There are stories of marriages being wrecked by online affairs. There are actual cases of men and women leaving their partners for people they met online and have yet to meet in the flesh. Illicit rendezvous can now be arranged via sms and flirting can now be done while on the move. Hell, it could also be done while you’re having a romantic dinner with your spouse.

Just as technology made extramarital affairs more convenient, there is also technology available to prevent or at least, verify your gut feeling such as spector software and acespy. Other than reading your partner’s text messages, you could also track their whereabouts using mobile phone services such as the smart personfinder.

But can technology really curb infidelity?

Not by a long shot. Infidelity is a choice. If people want to do it, they will find a way. No amount of gadgetry can stop it and instead, they will use technology to advance their own agendas. The cell phone and the internet are only accessories. If you want to stop infidelity, start at the root of it all. Start at the home. Start on your relationship. Focus on your level of commitment to your partner.

Bob Garon, in his article, A Happy Marriage is a Product of Work, said it best: “If a couple is to succeed and find happiness they will need to remain steady in their efforts to stay the course. There will be many temptations to slow down, to make less effort to maintain an intensity of love that is sufficient to keep the marriage headed in the right direction. This is true when the storms whip up the waves and holding the marriage on course calls for an even greater push. When the rough waters hit the ship, the couple is often tired and emotionally drained. It becomes especially difficult to energize the relationship. On the contrary, the tendency is to lie down and rest a while, or, worse, to give up and abandon ship.”